Pretentious Snobby Bastard Fly Fishing!

Fly Fishing Reports => Local Trip Reports => Topic started by: Transylwader on May 11, 2015, 14:36:16 PM

Title: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Transylwader on May 11, 2015, 14:36:16 PM
Friday dawned bright and promising. The chika had been bugging me to get her on an NC pune trout stream for quite sometime.
We bailed work early so we could set up camp and what not and do some exploring, NCDH foiled our plan and we got stuck in 6 hours of traffic. p;-
http://youtu.be/-lzKkb80aOE (http://youtu.be/-lzKkb80aOE)
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Light faded fast as we tried to sneak in a little session, decided to get the tent up and make a big ole fire
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About to burn some lamb and short rib (No pant was soiled)
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Mmmmm jou bliksem, lekker tjops -+;
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Made up some Bacon and aigs for the viscious hike we were about to take on. Stopped and got more ice for water and gatorade
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If any of y'all know this place, I wanna know, because we done got fuckered over. Ever since those four hunters were murdered up there back inthe late 70's I guess they don't want anyone back in there?
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Sup bishes
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It sure was pretty back in there. Got to the MST and then like magic, the trail just vanished. :o
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Some ghey flowers or leaves or what the fuck ever Galax or Ginseng is.
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Old skool gas cans. I woulda loved to have seen the airway tram and the restaurant, but alas, that was all ripped out.
So no dice and a good 6 miles fuck about in the heavens, we decided to go find some water that actually existed and lay waste to some punes.
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Beats a frat brimmed hat and all that ghey azz shit "kids" wear nowadays.
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I dunno about all that sparkly shit and a wild (or as some fucktards call em, native) brown trout. Who knows who was more embarrased, salmo trutta or me :embarassed:
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Started to get a little dark in this holler. Ole gal don't want to listen, she apparently doesn't need polaroids, wading boots or need to wear drab colors to blend in. I think shes onto something. Maybe we are all collectively full of shit and don't know what the fuck we're doing on a blueline.
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"Take his pic quick, I don't want to hurt him" (said nobudday ever). She caught her her first native pune NC brookie. I told her about the tigger trout that comes from a wrongful sexual act in nature. Now she's claiming she is going to catch a tigger before I do.  ::)
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Beautiful sunset over the blueridge
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More burning meat V:;
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Next day was dreary, windy and we needed to be back for Mothers Day. Reluctantly, we both packed our shit up like two bummed out people would and burned the last of the wood, made a big beakfarts and clambered gear into the car.
Hayley wanted to see what all this fuss over $22.00 was about, so I showed her.
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It seems I am not the only one who thinks it sucks.
I have contacted the Park Manager many times in years gone by. They clearly are making some money from city slicker jagoffs for a BS reason. Oh, Prince of streams, you are about as dead to me as Rice Crispies.
Oh well, I'll keep trying from the top /'/
Peace
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: raz on May 11, 2015, 14:48:35 PM
love what you've done with your nails. 
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: bmadd on May 11, 2015, 15:02:19 PM
Quote from: raz on May 11, 2015, 14:48:35 PM
love what you've done with your nails.

x2. Nothing to be embarrassed about. That polish is as sparkly as your personality.
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: ruttness on May 11, 2015, 15:21:40 PM
still sipping them stimis
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: driver on May 11, 2015, 18:17:17 PM
QuoteStarted to get a little dark in this holler. Ole gal don't want to listen, she apparently doesn't need polaroids, wading boots or need to wear drab colors to blend in. I think shes onto something. Maybe we are all collectively full of shit and don't know what the fuck we're doing on a blueline.

Words of wisdom right there
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Dee-Vo on May 12, 2015, 06:19:49 AM
Tranny, wtf would you do if that gal actually did catch a tigger before you? That would be interesting.
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Dougfish on May 12, 2015, 08:20:32 AM
I'm putting my money on sweet cheeks.
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: ptfranze on May 12, 2015, 09:13:47 AM
No question she will catch a tiger before you, that is just how this shit works man
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Transylwader on May 12, 2015, 10:45:41 AM
I could be a dick and place her on the DH. I mean, she got her baptism on a brookie stream in SNP fer fuck sake. Maybe send her to PA and she could fish with RaZ and the two of them can marvel over a stocktard tigger. They got horses in PA?
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Mudwall Gatewood 3.0 on May 12, 2015, 11:17:50 AM
Quote from: Dougfish on May 12, 2015, 08:20:32 AM
I'm putting my money on sweet cheeks.
Quote from: ptfranze on May 12, 2015, 09:13:47 AM
No question she will catch a tiger before you, that is just how this shit works man

It doesn't have to work that way.  It will be his own damned fault if she does beat him to the punch.  I have absolutely no sympathy for Mike.  He should have never under any circumstance (threat, bribe, extortion, ball-peen to the nuts, etc.) taken her along on a fishing trip.


Quote from: Transylwader on May 12, 2015, 10:45:41 AM
I could be a dick and place her on the DH. I mean, she got her baptism on a brookie stream in SNP fer fuck sake.

No, you were a dick when you first let her tag along.  Baptism for her, my ass!  You just experienced testicular crucifixion.  Your balls have been nailed and left hanging; if they don't hurt now, they eventually will --- trust me!


   
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: ptfranze on May 12, 2015, 11:58:57 AM
Mud I have to disagree...taken the wife out a few times with my family and she loves it.  But I actually get to go fishing a lot more because of that, she gets how nice it is to be out on the water and fishing.  She never really begs to come along, but it always makes her day if I ask her to come.  I think its a win- win
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Transylwader on May 12, 2015, 12:33:20 PM
My Ex-Wife was dumb enough to buy me a GPS back in 2008. If she played her cards right, she would have got life insurance after I died on a blueline. Some people are just ingenius.
I seldom take girls fishing. My close mates ride my ass for it. I be hearing shit like" why the fuck would you take the bird to your holy sanctuary?" and "dude, you are so dumb, for real"
I guess these asshats have never caught the slam and got a blowjob below a roaring waterfall. It is truly liberating. I shit you not.
Franzen Senior is quite correct. It's a win win. I will NEVER date a girl who gives me shit for fishing. I was married to one for 9 damned years! I actually used fishing as a means to get out of town every weekend.
Mudders, take the ole gal up Back creek and give her a good ole rodgering. You'll be surprised. Just think of your brah, Mike, jam some tunes and Bob's yer uncle. -+;
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Mudwall Gatewood 3.0 on May 12, 2015, 13:32:14 PM
Quote from: troutfanatic on May 12, 2015, 12:55:30 PM
Women shouldn't fly fish?

I did not say that, just for the record. 
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Mudwall Gatewood 3.0 on May 12, 2015, 13:49:16 PM
Quote from: troutfanatic on May 12, 2015, 13:34:16 PM
Quote from: Mudwall Gatewood on May 12, 2015, 13:32:14 PM
Quote from: troutfanatic on May 12, 2015, 12:55:30 PM
Women shouldn't fly fish?

I did not say that, just for the record. 

:P Dammit. You are a slick one today.

wait.

So what are you saying?

Taking a girlfriend or the wife on a fishing trip is like taking them to a strip club.  You're gonna have a bad time.  Or it could be just me.  Yup, that is a more plausible explanation; I'm just a peckerwood. 


http://youtu.be/XddfToBTelE (http://youtu.be/XddfToBTelE)
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Dee-Vo on May 12, 2015, 13:58:27 PM
I've been to strip clubs and fishing with girls. Either is fun with alcohol.
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: ptfranze on May 12, 2015, 14:25:19 PM
Love the south park skiing reference!  Well played sir  'c;  but your right it can go badly for you, I have to have my brothers help my wife out on the water because when I try to help it ends up frustrating both of us more than helping
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Transylwader on May 12, 2015, 15:54:23 PM
You asshats gone fucked my thread up (AGIN). Ladyfriend says y'all are messy pissyflaps n!n
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Woolly Bugger on May 12, 2015, 17:58:14 PM
I'm with mikey on this one, let the good times roll!
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Mudwall Gatewood 3.0 on May 12, 2015, 18:06:07 PM
Quote from: Woolly Bugger on May 12, 2015, 17:58:14 PM
I'm with mikey on this one, let the good times roll!

That doesn't surprise me.  I figure both of you didn't lay enough pipe in your younger years, which results in a lasting need to have your masculine G-spot stroked by some gal, EVEN on the trout stream.   

How can I screw up Mike's thread even more?

Regards,
Pissyflap #2
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Michael Toris on May 12, 2015, 18:19:06 PM
Quote from: Mudwall Gatewood on May 12, 2015, 18:06:07 PM
Quote from: Woolly Bugger on May 12, 2015, 17:58:14 PM
I'm with mikey on this one, let the good times roll!

That doesn't surprise me.  I figure both of you didn't lay enough pipe in your younger years, which results in a lasting need to have your masculine G-spot stroked by some gal, EVEN on the trout stream.   

How can I screw up Mike's thread even more?

Regards,
Pissyflap #2
Mods, I request his sn changed to Plumber Gatewall.
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Michael Toris on May 12, 2015, 18:19:18 PM
Mike, I enjoyed your thread
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Michael Toris on May 12, 2015, 18:29:56 PM
Quote from: steelrain202 on May 12, 2015, 18:23:07 PM
Despite what that fucking asshole said Mike glad you and hayley had a good time
Welp
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Transylwader on May 12, 2015, 21:58:09 PM
Didn't spend a dime. Went in upstairs. Rich Mountain Creek. Brays don't fish this shit
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: The Jesus on May 13, 2015, 07:42:22 AM
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Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Transylwader on May 13, 2015, 14:38:58 PM
TROUT
- the name given to a number of fresh water species of fursh
BRAYthe harsh gutteral cry of a donkey or mule OR someone who is really starting to get on my fucking nerves
TROUTBRAY
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Self proclaimed Bad Boy of fly fishing, Extreme Angler, trout expert.
Yep, there you have it: troutbray.
Hope this helps.
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Woolly Bugger on May 13, 2015, 14:45:58 PM
https://youtu.be/W9wwsxiLGbg
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: Woolly Bugger on May 13, 2015, 17:21:29 PM
Mudflap's reasons for not taking his woman along

Woman confessed to tampering with fiance's kayak before death: DA
http://nyp.st/1Fl52P1

Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: robspe7370 on May 15, 2015, 15:00:44 PM
Nice nailjob Mike!  I don't know why everybody hates on that stream, I have never been skunked there. Just have to know the right beats.
Title: Re: Hike to the end of the road - TR
Post by: fishhunterphil on May 29, 2015, 07:59:59 AM
...aahhhh le jardin  :D