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Getting old

Started by itieuglyflies, March 06, 2020, 08:29:32 AM

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itieuglyflies

When I was younger (like this forum), when my fishing buddies got together conversations were about fishing adventures and misadventures....and after stories were told and "by the way,that wife of yours is she out of the hospital?"

Now the main topics seem to be "who had any parts removed since we last met?" or "for sure that Trump caused the last ice age because I read it on the Internet".

Well fellows this kind of crap takes away from my joy of why I fish.  (Yes, I do care about you and yours health and somewhat your pets.)

With all that said, I plan to use reasonable precautions against the latest end of the world virus. My health care is pretty damn good, even with the pull back my retirement funds are still supporting the wife and I ......and my fishing.

My advice. Quit bitching ( I guarantee you are better off than over 90% of the folks on this planet). Go fish, and I would like to hear your fish stories.


Mudwall Gatewood 3.0

Fishing story:  I know Big J thinks I don't fish, but last week I went out for some stockers to eat and crapped my pants (getting old tidbit) while hiking in.  Add misery to the unfortunate elderly dilemma, days earlier I became gaulded (more old man delight) around my right nut, so going commando provided minimal barrier for the mudbutt.  Forced to strip, wash ass and jeans, build a fire, while perched half naked on the left descending stream bank was enlightening.   Stockers tasted good. 

"Enjoy every sandwich."  Warren Zevon

itieuglyflies

Note to self....be careful what you ask for. Now I have this image.


Woolly Bugger

March 06, 2020, 10:38:47 AM #3 Last Edit: March 06, 2020, 10:54:37 AM by Woolly Bugger

So I'm reading The Old Man and the Sea on the Kindle and I hear dad snoring away in the next room and mom trying to get him to have a drink of juice as he wakes up. He sounds kind of groggy and the next thing I hear is "Mike, are you all right?" I put the book down and take one look at dad, his eyes are rolled back and his breathing is labored, I'm on 911 before I even touch him. 10 minutes later the EMTs are wheeling him off to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital, I stopped and had a beer, knowing it takes time to be admitted and checked out by a dr. Blood work and a CT scan showed nothing abnormal for a 95-year-old. His sodium was low and they gave him fluids and a two-night stay.

Weird episode, getting old sucks!

PS - COVID - 19 has put a hit on the boat fund.....

ex - I'm not going to live with you through one more fishing season!

me -There's a season?

Pastor explains icons to my son: you know like the fish symbol on the back of cars.

My son: My dad has two fish on his car and they're both trout!

Dougfish

March 06, 2020, 13:59:26 PM #4 Last Edit: March 06, 2020, 14:38:26 PM by Dougfish

Don't worry, Fred. I'm refusing to get old. 100 mph for me.

I see lots of great examples on this forum, and in real life, of how to be old, bitchy, lazy and crotchety. Not me. Crash and burn with a smile on my face.

I do plan on installing a bidet, though.  -+;

"Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? " -Oddball, 1970

"I don't wanna go to hell,
But if I do,
It'll be 'cause of you..."
Strange Desire, The Black Keys, 2006

Big J

March 06, 2020, 14:27:36 PM #5 Last Edit: March 06, 2020, 15:01:01 PM by Big J
Quote from: Mudwall Gatewood 3.0 on March 06, 2020, 08:56:41 AM

Fishing story:  I know Big J thinks I don't fish, but last week I went out for some stockers to eat and crapped my pants (getting old tidbit) while hiking in.  Add misery to the unfortunate elderly dilemma, days earlier I became gaulded (more old man delight) around my right nut, so going commando provided minimal barrier for the mudbutt.  Forced to strip, wash ass and jeans, build a fire, while perched half naked on the left descending stream bank was enlightening.   Stockers tasted good.

Nothing like a good woods poop story.  At least nobody had the get displeasure of rolling up on you in the woods.

Doug and I were camping up near the SNP a few years ago.  Doug picked buffalo chicken pizza from a hole in the wall pizza joint and we got served the sloppiest pathetic mess I've ever seen called pizza.  Well the next morning I awoke in the hammock to some low deep grumbling in the stomach.  Grabbed the tp and walked into the woods looking for a good tree.  Posted up against a tree for a cringing session of ring sting when in mid valve opening I hear a truck coming up the fire road.  Then I realized I had no idea how far away from the fire road I was because I just walked downstream of the campsite and picked a tree without verifying where the road was, but I did know I was against the side of the tree facing the road.  So there I was, with uncontrollable stinging buffalo bowel movements against the tree and a little Toyota truck passes me ten feet away staring in horror.  I just looked down in shame.


Woolly Bugger

Years ago on the smith, in the middle of the smith, with fish rising all around, I tried to fight off the uncontrollable urge to go, an finally got off to the side and up into the woods and got my waders off and pants down in the nick of time!  d:b

ex - I'm not going to live with you through one more fishing season!

me -There's a season?

Pastor explains icons to my son: you know like the fish symbol on the back of cars.

My son: My dad has two fish on his car and they're both trout!

Dougfish

Quote from: Big J on March 06, 2020, 14:27:36 PM

Doug picked buffalo chicken pizza from a hole in the wall pizza joint and we got served the sloppiest pathetic mess I've ever seen called pizza.  Well the next morning I awoke in the hammock to some low deep grumbling in the stomach.

That was an unfortunate instant classic. The pie sounded good.

I have thought about fire bombing that pizza shop for serving that abomination to the unsuspecting public.

"Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? " -Oddball, 1970

"I don't wanna go to hell,
But if I do,
It'll be 'cause of you..."
Strange Desire, The Black Keys, 2006

Phil

Damn Fred, you done opened a can of worms here.  :o


hcrum87hc

Quote from: Phil on March 06, 2020, 15:58:59 PM

Damn Fred, you done opened a can of worms here.  :o

I don't think this went the way he was expecting. 

Jeremiah 17:7

Pansyman

A poop thread? Fishing related of course.

Used to go the Hiawassee and we'd hike up the trail and belly boat back down to the truck late afternoons. We stopped at the combo Taco Bell/ bait shop, BP station and I got a burrito extremo.

Well, FF about halfway down the float I realized it was rapidly going to exit my body. I had to stop, mid stream, drop waders and try to hold my rod and belly boat and let it all blow.

I had to use that good clean water as a manual bidet. When I looked up with shame on my face, there was a group of 4 rafts full of sunburned fat people from ATL just staring at me in horror.

I just waved and shrugged my shoulders.

You can lead a horticulture<br />but you can't make her think.<br /><br />Only users lose weed.


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