Author Topic: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR  (Read 3350 times)

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Transylwader

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Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« on: May 19, 2015, 00:24:40 AM »
I worked. on my barfday.

Lesson learned. Don't work on your barfday, even if you are sober (first time in 20 years). You will want to ring some cunters neck and the next one. The oversize furshes? Not so much. I worked a full 10 hours with the worst sunburn ever. After several hundred emails and too many "Fuck you maynes" from pussy homeowners who bought shit holes on a flood zone, I decided to show the cuntflaps who work in Raleightown sporting fag ass Guy Harvey ghey shit what a real catch is that don't come off of Daddy's million dollar bote.
Neusie was being a real looker, so I gave her all 11"
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That is a 10wt reel for size (yes, I was in my work car, took the intermediate and switched with WF7F red fish line and got rid of the shit I wasted my weekend on)
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I support practices that keep illegal immigrants, cockbites and general asshat's off my local river. Find out more at www.natgeo.com
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Fuck yes. I had my first PBR legally.
Sukk on dat fuckazzzz n!n
« Last Edit: May 19, 2015, 01:48:14 AM by Transylwader »

Offline NCsporksman

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2015, 06:52:41 AM »

Offline Dee-Vo

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2015, 07:16:06 AM »
Hell yes. Working on a bday does suck.....especially when you're super hungover, sick as fuk and still semi-pepper sprayed. Nice gar.
"The Earth is my playground."  - D.V.

Offline Jfey

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2015, 08:53:23 AM »
Fuk yea.  Happy Barfday indeed.
Yup, going fishing

Offline bmadd

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2015, 09:28:36 AM »
pune gar

Offline Fin

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2015, 09:58:13 AM »
The river I was carpin' on Saturday was full of gar.  The things would swim right up and hang just below my kayak.  I tossed a few flies at them and they appeared totally disinterested.  Finally got one small one to attack a Rapala (yes, I know it's not a fly   n!n ).  Fought it all the way to the yak and as I was trying to figure out what to do with him the hooks, thankfully, popped free.  I finally figured out why they weren't hungry when I started seeing them in groups of 6-10 thrashing about... they were spawning.  Cool to watch but they certainly had more on their minds than eating. 

Offline driver

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2015, 13:18:28 PM »
Nice.

Does Sanchez eat gar too?
Yes. At least once.

Dougfish

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2015, 13:38:45 PM »
 'c;

Your diction is getting dodgier. But hey.... -+;

Transylwader

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2015, 14:04:57 PM »
Thanks y'all!
Fin, the gars are done spawning here. I suspect the water temps prompted this to happen a few weeks back. I was lucky enough to witness gar sex in 2013. It was better than a foursome.
There is one huuuuuge bitch and these little pune dudes (around 30") trying to gissum. They are in shallow water, so shallow their backs are out. Then in a violent "c"snap thrash, her poisonous as fuck aigs get sharted all over the bed she is nesting on. Kinda like a JMU party, 10 dudes, one rank ass New Jersey broad.
I was truly mesmerized by all of this, I found myself just sitting there, watching all of this commotion. Then behind me, I heard a few Snachez's n Long Duck Dongs myuttering nasty thoughts of taking some out. One of these fucksticks had the audacity to chuck a treble hook attached to a clothesline and proceed to try snag one. I about lost my shit and threatened to beat his ass. Where out of nowhere, Chuck Norris (NCWRC beast ass warden) came by, thanked me for stepping in but said I should refrain from beating their asses on State Owned property, but encouraged me to fuck em up in the woods adjacent to the Neuse River Parkway which is private property. He and three Wake Co PD officers made several arrests that day. Alas, those illegal bastards were probably released just like the gars sperm and allowed to breed some more a few hours later. Such is life.
This is my PB to date. I am still shitting apples! So much that I cannot work. I wonder if my boss gives a fuck if I bailed and tried to jack up Neusies Uncle. I have seen a few going 60" I am so fucked up on these bastards, Hayley bust me using nail polish to mark my rodd at 50, 55 and 60" increments when we got back from the bar. Atleast I wasn't doing up my nails... 8)

Any local bruthaz that want in on the poor mans tarpon, holla atcha boy. You will need at least a 9' 7wt. Any of the Musky guys wanna 'splain why y'all use such short rods to try blast those 10" long flies? I welcome suggestions. I find the pick up on a 10" deceiver or a modified clouser is a righteous bitch, especially when you don't got no back cast, short punch casts that go maybe 50ft. I do at times get brave and wade out up to my tits with snakes, snapping turtles, the odd alligator swimming on by and get up on an old tree and let er rip, but there is nothing worse than a fish eating 80ft away and trying to strip set and really drive that hook into the bastards beak. I could see some bray try trout set and then they would hear the snap of the twig rod. Good times. Sorry my midn drifted and I gots me some verbal diarrhea.
Case in point: These fish are strong as fuck and will hurt you if you are not careful. Musky got teeth and sharp gills, thats nice n all, but a gar is full body razor sharp armor plating and they feel nothing beating your ass up. I shit you not. Very impressive dinosaurs and they fight dirty.
So here it is:
Tranny's wild goose chase BRO-guiding at your service. All it costs? 10lbs of ice to go in the Yeti and an 18 pack of PBR. Pull rank V:;

Offline bmadd

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2015, 14:10:22 PM »
I'm still chuckling at "Hayseus Horatio Christo"

Online Big J

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2015, 14:19:16 PM »
 :laugh: Mike.  That is a nice gar.  Did it take you into your backing?  I've been told gar are about the only freshwater fish that will go on a run that will take you into your backing.
"It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end." Hemingway

Offline DRIFTS

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2015, 14:51:37 PM »
Happy Barfday Bitchmister... 'c; /'/
l><))))))))))))))))),/*>~----------------------dave

Offline benben reincarnated

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2015, 15:27:43 PM »
10lbs of ice to go in the Yeti

That baby Yeti holds 10 pounds of ice AND still has room for beer?

Offline Jfey

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2015, 15:37:29 PM »
If I bring an 18 pack of PBR what will you drink?
Yup, going fishing

Transylwader

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Re: Barfday Gartrude of Hayseus Horatio Christo - barely a TR
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2015, 15:49:37 PM »
Did it take you into your backing?  I've been told gar are about the only freshwater fish that will go on a run that will take you into your backing.
Jake, letting em get into the backing is not an option on the Neuse. There are massive downed trees a mere 60ft downstream of the garland hole, I am not quite sure why it is they go downstream here and not up. Then they do their alligator death rolls and kamikaze air raids and honestly try hit you with their bodies. It's GnARly shit! I burned my hand good three or four times,  and it bled like crazy. No pix, I was shaking like a leaf, just had time to set up a self timer and return her in healthy shape to fight another day or scare off a Snachez. I had a big girl on last year that took me into my backing and I actually lost a flyline because the POS Albright knot Goldie had tied when he used my line for bull drum parted ways. Gartie - $74.95 + tax Me -  >:(
And then in 2013, I tried to dig a big girl out froma  downed stump and the tip of my rod broke and the line got shredded on the downed tree. I adjust the drag pretty tight and yes, I have been using heavy leaders (16lb mono salt) and loop knots to the metal washer and kept a ton of pressure on em. I'll pull up those pix tonight of the rig. You n Drifts should make up a spare rod and stick those fuggers in the river y'all float, they are big fun.
That baby Yeti holds 10 pounds of ice AND still has room for beer?
Yeah, once I scoff down 8 beers standing in the parking lot talking shit wating for youto put your waders on.

Thanks Dave. You musky finding bastardo! /'/

Chewy, that'd mean you would need to get a thirty pack. I take 60% you take 40% (saffa tax) and drag your daughters Lilo and Stitch cooler along.


 

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